Thursday, October 1, 2009


“Dad I’m bored”

“Why don’t you go outside and play?”

“It’s raining”

“Why don’t you read a book? You know, one of those analog things with pages?”

“They’re boring Dad. The graphics suck.”

“Well, why don’t you go smear peanut butter on that allergic kid – what’s his name – Itchy?”

“Puffy. Nah – his Mom won’t let him play with us anymore.”

“Then I don’t know what you can do. Go wash the garage…”

“Daaaaad…why don’t you and I do something? Let’s play a videogame together.”

“Nah – I’m working.”

“Dad – you’re writing another stupid column. You keep laughing at your own jokes.”

“No I’m not – I’m doing research by visiting humourous websites.”

“You’re watching videos of guys getting hit in the berries."

"It reminds me that there are clumsier people than me out there. It’s sort of an affirmation thing for me.”

“Dad. I’m only 8 years old – I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Let’s play catch then.”

“Is that a Wii game?”

“Yes it is. It’s a game called ‘Reality’ – you should try it sometime.”

“Dad I’m still really bored.”

“Go to my toolbox. In it is an old hunting knife. Go play with it out in the yard. Throw it around and try to stick it in a tree. I used to do that at your age. Remember what I said though – a TREE, not a kid. Now go.”

“Gee dad – you’re swell. What’s a knife Dad?”

Father facepalms and turns on the game console…

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