What I've become...

I was making the kids lunches this morning when a small irritant led me to believe I had become a crotchety old man. My father, in fact.

The source of this revelation were the mini-bagels I was working with. Specifically, they were supposedly sliced - but they weren't. They were partially sliced but had a remainder, deep inside the middle part of the bagel, that required cutting. I found this particularly annoying, and I'm quite convinced it is somehow responsible for the World Economic Crisis and Climate Change.

The bag says 'Sliced'. Right there. Sliced. If you grasp one and attempt to pull it apart though, you are in for a dreadful surprise. They are only partly sliced, and it is off to the cutlery drawer you go, in search of the serrated knife that works best for bagels. Which is in fact in the dishwasher, the door of which you bash your shin upon when stooping and rooting around the insides, searching for your knife which is at the back of the bloody cave you are stooped over peering into!!

Gah!!

If you just pull the bagel halves apart you are left with little bagel nubs sticking up, which burn and smoke upon insertion into the toaster. You wind up with pale, un-toasted bagel, with a strip of blackened bits running in a line down the middle.

This is unacceptable. It may cause me to go off on a rant about something that isn't really all that important in the overall scheme of things.

Oh just get off the lawn and leave me alone...