Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Which on First?

So what goes on first when you are in the woods - sun screen or bug spray?

I went back and forth on this matter in a complete dither until the bugs just got bored and went home I think.

Actually, I wound up slathering my magnificent body in hand lotion by mistake. It worked but in round-about fashion. As the little critters were jabbing me with their tiny beaks, the heat from my sun-seared flesh would cause them to burst into flames. Now, instead of bites, I have tiny, raised welts from the small burns inflicted on my person. So that worked just fine, and I'm glad I thought of it.

Bug spray also works, except for the bits you miss. In this fashion I became light headed from blood loss as the skeeters zoomed into the small portion of my ankle that did not get fumigated properly. Word spread in the bug community, such that my ankle became like a drive-thru blood emporium.

Business must have been quite brisk. My swollen ankle now makes me look like I am wearing a watermelon for a slipper.

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