Friday, August 21, 2009

Terrorism - Canadian Version 1.0

When it comes to terrorism, my media-influenced image is of wild-eyed fanatical types lobbing bombs (or indeed, themselves as bombs) and causing terror. Not a pretty picture by any means, and not something I would attempt to make funny in any way.

In Canada, however, we have our own version of the ilk. Ours are much more polite, and with a refreshing scent.

I am pleased to report the arrest of the Deodorant Bomber - here is the news story - a wild eyed fanatic if ever we have produced one.

Using sparklers and deodorant cans is, admittedly, a darn clever thing to do, and one which will no doubt lead airport authorities to a ban on cake decorating accessories in your luggage.

I believe this is just the tip of the ice berg when it comes to terrorists in our land. I suspect old Osama and company have already made it here and are even now clogging their arteries with poutine and pancakes. They obviously feel a need to 'keep their hand in' as it were, so they blow off a few deodorant cans from time to time in a show of strength for the folks back home.

I, for one, think that letting off steam in this manner is far less harmful than what they currently are doing in more far-flung parts of the world. And wouldn't it also be interesting to walk into a travel agent's office and ask for a ticket to Far Flung?

Anyway, deodorant cans we can handle, but if they escalate things and move up to firecrackers or roman candles - that's it. We will not tolerate this type of activity in our own back yard and if it comes to that we will have no choice but to nuke Prince Edward Island from orbit.

Zero tolerance I say. Nicely though - we are, after all, Canadian.


BDGJM said...

I just wanted to congratulate you for your 3rd prize winning in the contest.

It's good to stand in tall cotton.


Mike said...

While you're nuking PEI, do you think you could do us a favor down here south of the border and take care of New Jersey as well, if it isn't too much more trouble?