Sunday, February 15, 2009

Things I'm working on

Random thoughts that may become columns. Or bits of columns which I may join all together into some sort of semi-cohesive whole.

- My son (age 7) and I have been discussing the relative merits of switching nose and ear functions around. The thought of smelling through your ears, and listening through your nose, has some appeal you must admit.

- Having recently run out of shampoo, I am conducting my semi-annual contemplation of shaving my head again. I have done this before, and it is not just because I'm cheap and would realize significant shampoo savings. One also realizes benefits in the toque adhesion realm as well - those suckers stick to your noggin like velcro when you are a cueball. Which is handy if you happen to be in a tornado or hurricane while wearing a toque.

- The whole shampoo thing is somewhat baffling, in that modern shampoos seem to want to put a lot of food on your head. A recent stroll down the shampoo aisle offered up the following ingredients inside this unguent: flowers of many kinds, peaches, kiwis, apples, cherries, melons, oranges, lemons, fructises (whatever those are), and I think celery.

Now I don't know about you, but I prefer enjoying my food from the inside.

Given that hair is DEAD, one wonders what benefit would accrue from feeding one's hair these various substances.

I guess if I'm going to go off on a rant about shampoo I should confess to buying the stuff purely based on smell alone. Like the kids. Yes, we selected them based on smell...

What I meant to say is - the kids and I only check the labels to make sure it is in fact shampoo and not shaving foam we are getting, but after that it is all smell. Well, sometimes taste, based on the smell. Hey - kids are curious.

I think this all started with the product Gee Your Head Smells Terrific I think it was called. I remember when this hit back in school. It fueled more lust in adolescent males than most pheromones or naughty pictures. Naturally all us guys went out and bought some of the stuff, in the jaundiced belief that women smelling our locks would immediately grab our hands and lead us astray into dens of iniquity where we would indulge in hours of wild carnality - based purely on the smell of our noggins. That was the hope anyway. Reality was not so much.

I'm looking forward to the day when marketing types come full circle and we see shampoos with more back to the earth themes in their aromas. Products like Barkmulch, Essence of Dirt, Fresh Lawn Clippings, and so forth.

Why not use other foodstuffs as fragrances? Roast Beef Conditioner, Alpha Bit Shampoo, Gee Your Hair Smells Like Beans, Pureed Yams with Shampoo Emulsifyer and so forth may someday be winners in the drug store.

Thanks for reading.

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