Friday, February 13, 2009

Grocery Lineup Muse

The woman in front of me at the grocery store express line (12 items or less) had 18 items. I counted. I was generous in my assessment – even with controversial items like 2 bunches of bananas, which I counted as one item.

She had 18 items. She knew it. I knew it. The people behind me knew it.

As she turned and put her now empty basket into the pile with the others, she sheepishly looked at me and said “I guess I went a little over the limit.”

“Well then get out of the lineup you illiterate moron” I said.

I didn’t really say that. I wanted to though. I’m sure the people behind me did too.

In reality I just smiled tight-lipped and smacked her in the face with the big bag of taco chips I was holding. I felt much better.

No I didn’t really, but these fantasy lines and actions were extremely satisfying to daydream about.

Why can’t we do that – just lash out and smack those who so desperately deserve it? Do we really have to be nice all the time?

And that's as far as I got on that column...a bit Bill Brysony really...not sure if I want to complete it even. I'll just bask in the glow of the thought...dreaming...ahhhhh

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