I have been meaning to write something about how cats show affection to their owners, but it is difficult when one of them (I'm referring to a cat here) is sitting on your hands as you type, staring you in the face, and smearing the side of his head against your chin. Over and over.
It is most intense first thing in the morning. I get up, start the coffee maker, then go into my office and turn on my laptop. Immediately Oreo comes in, sits on the desk between me and my keyboard, stares intently in my face, then rears up on his hind legs, places front paws firmly on my chest, and begins his assault.
It goes something like this: butt head against my chin. Lick chin repeatedly. Butt head again. Look up intently into my eyes, then smear left side of face down side of my face. Butt heads again. Rub noses. Lick my nose. Smear other side of head down my face. Butt heads again. Smear. Lick. Butt. Flop down on hands, making me think he is going to fall asleep and I can actually do some surfing or writing, but no. He gets back up right away and starts process all over again.
Butt. Smear. Swipe. Butt. Butt. Lick. Lick. Smear. Butt butt. Flop. Back up. Smear. Butt. Lick. Butt Butt. Smear. Ad infinitum. He will occasionally add variety to this routine by standing up high and trying to gnaw on my eye glasses. I turn away, he lowers himself down slightly, and begins again. Butt. Smear. Lick.
Having never been a cat owner before, I had no idea cats displayed their affection this way. Especially given what I had done to him yesterday, you'd think I would be the focus of impotent (ha) rage against the person responsible. Nope.
Butt. Smear. Wipe. Lick Lick. Butt. Smear. Butt. Butt. Flop.
This morning I was laughing so hard at this that I could barely see the screen and I feared waking up the kids. He keeps this up despite the disgusting breath he must be smelling, and the appearance of my unbrushed, furry teeth.
My daughter, who is currently obsessed with cat books, cat novels, cat tribes, cat movies and generally anything feline, actually communicates now in much the same way as her pet.
Instead of a kiss goodnight, we rub noses. She purrs. She hisses and spits occasionally.
Having never had kids before, I did not know these obsessions would consume children in such a manner. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to wake her up with a friendly face smear. Maybe some head butts.