Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hotel Battleship

A recent road trip produced a most excellent game of Battleship.

The setting: kids in one queen bed, Mom and Dad in the other.

Dad initiates battle with scarf found lying beside bed. Scarf lands on opposing kids face.


Back comes scarf. Direct hit on Mom's still sleeping face. Oops.

"Hit!" She had to get up anyway.

The big guns are now deployed now that the game is well underway.

Pillow number one is launched by my number one turret.

"Miss!" Damn! That could cost me. Got to get the range or I'm a goner.

Return pillow comes hurtling over the horizon onto Mom again. My positioning on the bed is clearly an advantage.

"Miss! Well, missed me anyway."

I launch my next salvo - a double shot that separates perfectly in mid-air and wallops both kids simultaneously.

"Ack! Hit! Hit!" I don't know about you but my day was made by this point.

And so battle was joined on all sides.

The kids later boarded our ship in a pointless attack that failed miserably, other than the cuddling, tickling and semi-smothering that ensued. They also tried to burrow underneath my ship in a series of tunnels which were all poorly engineered and collapsed before reaching their goal.

In a last-ditch attempt to induce surrender, a series of aerial kamikaze attacks was initiated from their aircraft carrier. Thanks to my early warning systems (mainly consisting of the Mark I Eyeball and a keen sense of hearing) I thwarted these attacks with fierce anti-aircraft fire using my 16" pillow batteries.

After the coffee was ready in the room, the battle ceased and my opponents amused themselves by rehearsing future attacks and conducting aerial reconnaissance of the battlefield.

Miraculously, no casualties have been reported thus far.

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