Sunday, August 19, 2012

Household Hint #342 - Towel Washing

Step 1 - Pull room-sized load of clean towels from dryer and pile on top of counter. DO NOT FOLD.
Step 2 -Slowly (one towel per day) have children pilfer clean towels from pile and add used towels to separate used pile, knowing you will remember which pile is which because you are a grown-up who is paid to remember such things and also because you have clearly instructed offspring on methodology. Continue to not fold towels.
Step 3 - Add several more slightly used towels to slightly used pile. 
Step 4 - Continue clean towel pilferage. While pilfing from clean pile, discover crusty facecloth molded into shape of bathtub spigot.
Step 5 - Observe how formerly separate piles have now developed gravity and morphed into single enormous, slightly damp, steaming pile.
Step 6 - While taking normal avalanche precautions, dig down through Cretaceous layer (used) to (supposedly) clean layer and discover towels which smell of shampoo and other mystery ingredients.
Step 7 - Test all items in pile by high-tech method of sniffing. If tests are inconclusive, proceed to step 8
Step 8 - Using explosives and heavy machinery as necessary, load blended pile into washing machine and wash thoroughly.
Step 9 - Wash again, this time with detergent.
Step 10 - proceed to step 1

Repeat weekly.

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