Sunday, November 28, 2010

Cat Basin

My wife and I were having a frank exchange of viewpoints...

“Honey!  The cats are in our bathroom sinks.”

“I know – aren’t they cute?”

“Cute schmoot!  I need to brush my teeth!”

“Use a cup of water like when we’re camping.”

“What?  We’re at home - not camping.  I don’t think I should have to ‘rough it’ at home.”

“But the kittens love sleeping in our sinks.  Aren’t they cute?”

“They are getting less and less cute as time marches on.  Once again a family pet is forcing me from my personal zones.  First we needed to buy a huge bed so the dog could sleep with us.  Now the cats are taking over my sink.  Will they be wearing my clothes soon too?”

“No dear, they have good taste.  Why don’t you use the kid’s bathroom?”

“Because I think the Health Department condemned it a while ago.  I don’t even want to go in there, let alone touch anything.”

“You don’t have to eat off the counter or sink in there dear – just brush and spit.”

“That’s not the point.  We have our own, individual sinks, paid for at great expense when we built our house, and said sinks are now filled to the brim with cat.  I can see where you’re going with this.  Pretty soon you’ll suggest we install sinks just for the cats, won’t you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, dear.  I would never do that.  I would just move your stuff downstairs so you could use the powder room or the basement bathroom.  That way the cats can use your sink all the time.  Aren’t they cute?”

“I don’t think I like this.  Look, there is hair everywhere in my sink.  That’s disgusting. I assume it belongs to the cats?”

“It must be, dear, you haven’t had any hair to fall in the sink for some time now.  I think you’re just jealous.”

“I am not jealous!  I just don’t see why I have to clean up their hair and my own.  These pets are starting to take over the house.  What are towels doing in there?”

“I put towels in there so the sink won’t be so cold.”

“Honey – they have fur.  Also, this is a sink, not a bunk bed.  Please stop encouraging them to sleep in my basin.  They are probably scratching the counter.”

“It’s granite, dear.  Cat claws won’t scratch granite.”

“They might if I turn on the water.”

“You leave them alone!  Why don’t you just brush your teeth in the kitchen and get it over with.”

“Because I want to go to bed, not traipse downstairs and spit all over the pots!  I just want to do my ablutions and go to bed.  I’m tired.  My life used to be so simple…”

“Well if you had cleaned the pots before coming to bed you wouldn’t have this problem now would you?”

“You’re doing your circular reasoning thing again.  Please can I just brush my teeth?”

“Honey just pick up the cat and put him on the bed, then brush your teeth.  Everything will be just fine...”

“Thank you for your understanding.  Sheesh.”

“…and you can grab a Snuggie and sleep on the couch tonight.  The cats seem upset and I want them to get a good sleep.  Good night dear.” 

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