Sunday, June 20, 2010

Embarrasing Moment #793

I'm sitting in an office, discussing lease financing with a potential client.

I am well coiffed, I have trimmed all facial features of errant hairs, there are no bats in the caves that are my nostrils, and I'm actually wearing long pants for a change (meaning it is a very important client).  All is proceeding apace.

What happens next is the stuff of nightmares.

I turned my head during the conversation and a glob of hardened earwax flew out and landed on the clients desk with a small crackle.

Now let me explain something about my personal hygiene regimen.  When I get out of the shower, I use a tissue to wipe my ears out, since I find it annoying to feel the water drying inside my head.  In other words, I wipe my ears out every day.  Not that I'm defensive about this situation in any way.

Back to the scene.

The crusty glob, about the size of a peppercorn, landed audibly on a piece of paper and rolled for a few inches, drawing our eyes to it.  Our conversation stopped in one of those moments that tend to live in infamy. 
We were both non-plussed, our jaws dropping simultaneously as if to collectively "Did that really just happen?" 

I didn't know what to do or say.  The glob just lay there for a few seconds, minding its own business.  I looked at him, he looked at me.

Time stood still.

Then, being guys, we both burst out laughing hysterically and got on with our business.

I was reminded of a time when I spit a small glob of spaghetti into my fiance's mouth.  I won't go there today but suffice it to say that coughing while eating can be hazardous to your libido and that of your betrothed.

Enjoy your breakfast.

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