Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Year in Review

There's some local Kelowna stuff in here which will be irrelevant to international readers, but whatever...


The year it started well enough with the swearing of Obama
But then the tea began to cool and change became a drama
A vote for change let freedom shine, the light of change was glaring
The Yanks don’t want our health care much, which leaves Obama swearing

US Airways found a way to make their planes deliver
They also made a runway on the chilly Hudson River
A flock of geese is now no more, Captain Sully is a hero
The final score was Airbus 1. The flock it numbers zero

H1N1 in the news, from Mexico it’s spreadin’
Hysteria is in the news, despite low numbers deadin’
With shoulders sore we jam the doors of clinics that be jabbin’
The vaccines worse than the H1 curse – but the networks keep on blabbin’

Elections in Iran had the populace atwitter
People protest in the streets (if they could find a sitter)
As people died, they tried and tried, to raise a mighty racket
The leadership remained unhip - Mahmoud Ahmadinnerjacket

The summer haze became a blaze – along the west side track
Many hundreds left their homes to let the planes attack
No one hurt, a few homes burnt but none the worse for wear
A shouted “Thanks!” to the airborne tanks and fire crews that were there

Now you may think that something stinks when it comes to Kelowna’s new logo
The debate reminds of left-behinds from a large, well fed Ogopogo
“It’s a pine cone!” “It’s a starburst!” “It’s a copy!” they all say
After summer smoke which made us choke let’s face it – it’s an ashtray

You may have thought that the fires wrought all the flames that came our way
But the letters soared and debates they roared and the vitriol did spray
Politics? Abortion? Were there bunnies here to see?
No, not really, just a lane of highway called HOV

Gangs and thugs were busy as their bullets sprayed the nation
The Bacon boys collected toys for other gang’s ventilation
Imagine if the bangers had been busy with their trollops
Then bacon could return to being wrapping for our scallops

Controversy reared its head about the Richmond rink
Americans with big, long blades were raising quite a stink
“It isn’t fair!” said our friend Colbert, “You’ll eat our icy dust!”
“Oh yeah?” we say, in our polite way, “Go practice on the bus”

Olympic flames are burning bright, to Whistler we shall go!
If only I had tickets I would sure enjoy the show
I’d love to see the fastest ski and soar and speed and schuss!
I only got lame hockey seats – China/Belarus

Global warming in the news, a Copenhagen riot
The earth has got to cool itself, go on a carbon diet
The polar ice is melting and the water’s on the hunt
Regina will be filled with glee and on the waterfront

Between the beetles, banks and housing the economy did tank
It seemed no matter what we did our balance came up blank
I have a scheme that’s still a dream, creating cash filled barges
I dream of getting just a cut of banking service charges

He drove the holes aggressively, he plowed some fancy divots
His Cadillac it was attacked with golf clubs popping rivets
He cops a plea for privacy to “mend his family – thanks!”
Then Tiger gets back on his cell and texts “How ‘bout it, skanks?”

The deadly toll in Afghanistan’s knolls and roads creeps ever higher
Our Highway of Hero’s is too well used, though our salutes they never tire
It would fill us with joy if our troops would deploy to a region that wants peace
Let our soldiers drive themselves home, let the many convoys cease

Happy 2010

1 comment:

BDGJM said...

This was very entertaining and VERY well written.

Shane
http://bdgjm.blogspot.com