Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Facebook Updates

David Crawford Status Update: I think I took the wrong pill this morning! Ha ha! Stumbling around in the dark, I took one of my wife’s estrogen pills instead of my acid reflux one. They look similar. Hmmm. What harm can it do? Whatever.

Update: New tattoo! It’s a beauty – on my back just above my belt line! Girls call it a Tramp Stamp – LOL! – I don’t know what us guys call it. Sort of a spur of the moment, whimsical thing. Skin a little tender but no biggy!

Update: Another one! Tattoo parlor was having a two for one special so I thought what the heck! This one is a nice rose on my chest. Looks great! I may have to change outfits to show it off a little when we go out tonight.

Update: Well someone is a little upset because I’m still getting ready when it is time to leave for our night out. Chill! We hardly ever go out anymore and I want to look good! I really could use some new clothes…

Update: So we get to the restaurant to meet friends and Charlie is wearing the same jeans as me! Can you believe that? I swear he did it on purpose. I asked Brent to go to the washroom with me so we could talk about it and he just looked at me funny and told me to go by myself. How rude! If he thinks I’m going to talk with him when I get back to the table he’s got another thing coming.

Update: Well if Fred thinks I’m going to help him pour concrete tomorrow he’s crazy! He made fun of my new body art so I told him what Bill had said about the outfit he was wearing the other day. Oooh was he mad! He’s just jealous of my new shirt, which brings out the highlights in my new buzz cut.

Update: So someone got a little snippy last night on our way home from dinner. All I did was offer some helpful criticism about her driving, and I also thought she could have been a little more supportive of me when Tom made that snide remark about men with tattoos. I may have had a few too many crantini’s but so what! She could have put her beer down and supported me! I’m so upset!

Update: Hey does anyone want to go shopping with me tomorrow? I need some accessories to go with my new table saw. I thought we could head over to Sears and check out the routers first, then go to Home Depot for some drill bits and nails. We can just be guys and hang out. Let me know!

Update: Me and the boys are going to go check out the new bistro downtown tomorrow! I heard they have some great appetizers so we’re going to meet there for a nosh and a giggle. Anybody else wanna join us?

Update: Woke up with a screaming headache today. I’m boiling hot too – even though it's cold out. Weird. Something is wrong with my shaver too – it barely cut this morning – not that there was much stubble, which is also weird. I must have had too many beers last night or something. Feel dreadful. Skin on my back is itchy beyond belief. More later when I wake up.

Update: Strange – note from wife - says she’s left me! WHAT?! Something about me keeping secrets from her all this time. She says I should see a good psychiatrist about my female tendencies. Huh?! And who put this tattoo on my chest anyway? A ROSE?? You’ve gotta be kidding me! Man I must have had WAY too many beers last night. I don’t remember any of this.

Update: I talked to the wife and she’s cool. I explained how I didn’t remember much from yesterday at all and that I still love her and to come home! She said yes! I’m still trying to figure out what happened, as I strut around the house in these fabulous new work boots! Gotta run to the jobsite. Bye!

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