Nipple Washers

We recently enjoyed a weekend in Vancouver, and stayed at an otherwise charming little hotel downtown.

Overall the place is great, but I could cheerfully boil in oil the person who decreed that showers in hotel bathrooms are to be at a height of no greater than five feet.

Now for the vast majority of the population this is just fine.

For those of us who tower above 6 feet, it leads to some frustration.

Standing in such a shower, one has to adjust the spray to near horizontal in order to rinse one's head and such. Either that, or resort to a comical squatting posture, like a ballerina plie, whereby one bends ones knees and ducks one's head to accomplish the task at hand (or head as the case may be).

This shower head positioning has resulted in men over the height of 6 feet having the most gloriously clean nipples that underwear manufacturers are beginning to notice. Sales of undershirts are on the wane, since men are now so proud of their sparkling chests they feel compelled to show them off.

This phenomenon could spell the end of the under-garment trade as we know it, so please write to your local Member of Parliament today and demand action! Mens nipples were not meant for public display and should be banned and covered immediately!

Thank you.