Column Writing Insight

So the way I write columns is to think up something stupid to say and start typing.

Sometimes I'll latch onto a topic and the stupid stuff just flows. The one below for example - Pirates of the Okanagan. I heard yet another newscast talking about a foiled attempt at hijacking a ship, and I thought wouldn't it be funny to have that here somehow? Off I went (I actually did call the local RCMP and yukked it up with the media relations gink...good guy) and that was that.

Usually though, I spend a lot of time stumbling across or dreaming up stupid things that amuse me, so I jot them down in a bulging word file and see if I can use them sometime.

I have quite a few disparate lines now. Here are a few that may appear in columns at some point in the future.

- Name of a law firm: Chase, Gittem, Flogg, Wallop and Shyster. I don't know why but that cracked me up today. I know you're not supposed to laugh at your own jokes but hey - I'm new at this so buzz off with the rules mmmkay?

- I was drinking some juice in the kitchen when I heard my wife approaching so I had to get a glass.

- American friends and I would sit around a table in the saloon, exchanging rounds of gunfire.

- I was Alpha Bitting my way through my breakfast victuals, and had just finished my third "Q", a rare feat, when much to my surprise...

- Terrifying phrases for any parent: "Dad I'm feeling sick", "What's that in the dog's mouth?", and "Honey can you check the sink in the kids bathroom? It's draining slowly." I started a column based on this - entering a kids bathroom without protective equipment of any kind. Gotta flesh that one out sometime...

I think that will do for now.

Hey - thanks for reading. And commenting (Susan in Texas!).