How to fill those embarrassing silences...

Allow me to set the scene...

It is a smallish restaurant, maybe 30 seats. The atmosphere is such that if you really trained your ears in a certain direction, you could hear the conversation going on across the room.

We are having dinner here with the kids, and since it is a law that All Children Must Go To The Bathroom At The Same Time, I was escorting them to the biffy's along the side of the room.

The echo chambers known as washrooms are small too, just one holer's and a sink.

Son goes with no issues, finds his way back to table.

Daughter is taking longer (surprise!), but this is getting silly. Approach door and discretely (from outside) ask if everything is OK?

The loud response knocks me back from the door...

"Dad, I'm having a runny poo!!"

This line comes just as every single conversation in the restaurant has paused for breath, and an unearthly silence has been shattered.

Parents merely smile knowingly.

A young couple on a date now seem to be having second thoughts.

One lady appears ready to lose her entree and is turning iridescent green at the imagery.

"OK sweetie!" I say, proud, smiling.

My kids are becoming quite the sophisticates yes?