Name Needed

I need to come up with a name for a certain posture.

The posture is adopted by helpful fathers crouched over in front of their children and their children's chums, doing up ice skates at the local outdoor rink.

The physical nature of this crouching behaviour is as follows: Back at 45 degree angle to vertical, knees slightly bent, skate between legs, frozen and bleeding fingers in use tying up laces at the outdoor ice rink.  Wind howling, nose dripping, fingers beginning to cramp as the 4th pair is secured to the up-stretched appendage.

Part of this peculiar stance comes from clutching the child's skate between the legs, its razor sharp blade uncomfortably close to one's scrotum and other accessories.

The other peculiarity is a result of the fathers pranged up and sore back, the shooting pains appearing as electrical sparks erupting from beneath the back of the fathers winter coat. 

The pain is somewhat diminished by seeing his charges hurtling downwind on the ice, red cheeks grinning, old ladies being bowled out of the way like ten-pins. 

My pain was also diminished by thinking of somehow securing the hot chocolate dispensing license for the new outdoor facility.  I'd make a fortune.