Biographies

I never know what to write about myself.

Being Canadian and sort of awkward about self promotion, I get all weird trying to think of interesting or funny things to say about myself. I know I'm going to have to be shamelss about my wonderfulness when the book comes out, but it feels funny.

For the recent contest win and placing I had to submit a bio with the entries. I'm going to need one for the book too.

I tend to think I'll make mine something like this:

David Crawford has 6 PhD's, one each from Harvard, Yale, MIT, London School of Economics, Princeton, and from Bertha's Community College (Welding).

He has donated several of his kidneys to prominent statesmen, including Ghandi, Churchill and Nelson Mandela.

His first Nobel Prize is used as a toilet paper holder on his bathroom counter, while his second got melted down and spent on survival weapons and materials (including beach type metal detectors (thank goodness).

Mr Crawford owns one hockey stick, which he treasures.

He has written extensively about nose hairs, belching, wine, stabbing himself and power tools.

Please send money.